I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
