What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
