you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize