Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
