first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
