It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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