They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize