We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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