just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
