Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
