Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
