At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
