ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
