all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
