I'm really into asian looking animals
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize