The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
vagina is talking i cant
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
