Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
