Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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