She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sext me about skeletons
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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