drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize