Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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