More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
