i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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