Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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