I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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