i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
