Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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