They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
