how do flat chested girls get laid?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
