Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
