Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
