I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
