We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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