she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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