Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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