Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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