How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
