I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
