The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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