Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
