you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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