I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
