At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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