his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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