so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
