It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
50% drunk capacity currently
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize