Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
