After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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