We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
