Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
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The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize