Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
