11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
