i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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