Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
