She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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