tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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