Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
