I'd wear matching sweaters with you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
