Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was like having sex with a tree stump
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
