he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
