I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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